Saturday, April 23, 2011

Ready to Grow


It's now 5 weeks until our wedding and I am soo beyond ready for it to be here!
I'm ready to marry my cowboy. I'm ready to be Mrs. Braun. I'm ready to wear my dress. I'm ready to see all our family and friends. I'm ready to get my life back! 

I work full time, do school work (somewhat...), and tackle my neverending list of wedding projects. 
I want to feel inspired again! It will be wonderful to actually have the time, money, and desire to work on decorating projects and begin to collect ideas like I used to! We have been talking about going to the bank to try to get preapproved for our own house a few months after the wedding. We're hoping it will go better this time since we both have full time jobs...but, we have more debt than before, so who really knows. We're just ready for some more space, a garage, a nicer neighborhood, and to feel like the money we pay each month is actually going towards something. 

Another thing weighing on my mind is my constant dilemma of "what I want to be when I grow up". I see everyone I graduated from high school with finishing college and am just so sad with some of the decisions I have made. I had a four year scholarship. A full ride. What did I do with that? Wasted it. I have changed schools twice and my major five times. And guess what? I'm thinking about doing it again! My problem is that I haven't been devoted to anything. I think that's a problem when you don't go away to college and have a serious significant other. I wanted to move on with my life, I wasn't worried about school. But now that I am working my butt off in a job that I definitely do not want for the rest of my life, I realize school should have been much more of a priority. I want a career that will be able to provide for my family. I am not a stupid girl. I don't understand why I have been in college for four years with nothing to show. I want to challenge myself, make something of myself. Bryan has an actual career and now I want one! My greatest incentive? He says we can't start trying to have kids until I graduate from college. lol If anyone has any good advice, I'd love to hear it. Advice on how to decide what I want to do for the rest of my life, how to not feel like a complete loser, how to buckle down and finish school. Anything ;)

Speaking of feeling inspired, I came across this site today and felt overwhelmed, in a totally good way! I love every picture! Only a few more weeks and I hope to be posting more regularly again :) Talk soon!

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